As every straight man knows there is no sight on earth more beautiful than a naked woman spread-eagled and waiting on a bed. But if you’re still screwing like you did at 17 (insert dick, reach glory) you’re doing this work of art a disservice. Also if you’re screwing a new or shy woman who isn’t receptive to hard-core kink, or if you’re new to kink yourself, think of the suggestions below as a way to bring a bit of kink into the bedroom and get your feet wet. These are all kinks that you can do without toys, in a few seconds or less.

Spank It

When we talk about spanking in the context of the bedroom, the object of the spank is usually a firm, delicious ass. By now you know the right angle and amount of force to make this delicious body part jiggle. For a change try extending the spanking play to her pussy. Ideally when she’s already really turned on, or maybe in the middle of sex as you’re changing position, take the opportunity to show how appreciative you are. Fold your thumb into your palm and tap your four fingers dead center against her clit. It goes without saying that you want to be gentle. What you’re looking for is a stimulating pressure combined with the element of surprise. Once or twice is enough to make your point, especially combined with a bit of dirty talk letting her know how GOOD she is at being bad.

Talk to It

Dirty talk shouldn’t just be for your lady. Her genitalia is one of the best things about her, and deserves special praise too. We think this version of bedroom talk is especially fitting after you’ve reached climax and are still kind of floating anyway. Make eye contact with her pussy and have a conversation with it. Thank it. Tell it what a good job it did and throw in your lady’s favorite dirty talk and/or profanity to seal the deal. Etcetera, etcetera.

Rub Your Face In It

Have you ever seen a dog sniff the hell out of a spot outdoors he really likes, before he starts rolling in it? The next time you’re between her legs preparing to give her oral sex, take a few moments to show her how much you enjoy how she smells and looks, by sniffing and rubbing your face in and all over it before you start diving in with your tongue and fingers. Think of it as oral “appreciation”. But if you haven’t done this with her before, go easy on the sniffing because a lot of women worry about how they smell down there. The last thing you want to do is pull her out of the mood and make her self-conscious. Once you’ve reassured her that she smells great we’re willing to bet later she’ll be only too eager to plant her scent all over your face without you having to ask.